The Pandemonium Of Football Away From The Pitch

Every weekend football will consistently highlight the inconsistency of the game, whether it is Liverpool’s return to form against Ferguson United or Real Madrid being thumped 4-0 by village team Alcorcorn in the Spanish King’s Cup.

Like a good thriller or horror film the weekend’s football action can leave you unsure of which way the action is going to turn right up until the final curtain falls.

Away from the field of play though the bizarre twists and turns of everyday life can be just as fascinating and this week football has seemingly stepped out of its comfortable isolated bubble that it normally inhabits and has joined the struggle and annoyance of everyday of life.

First up are Eintracht Frankfurt, who collectively seem more paranoid than Howard Hughes.

The Bundesliga team have announced that they’ve withdrawn their kit after concerns that the printed sponsor’s logo could cause impotence.

Whether this was established during a random drugs test that also extended to the shirt is unclear, but midfielder Umit Korkmaz remains unconcerned as several member of the team have recently found the back of the net, as he reveals that “several Wags got pregnant recently.”

Meanwhile back in old Blighty, Stoke experienced the kind of travel nightmare usually reserved for Londoners trying to negotiate the city at the weekend, without a large percentage of the tube lines running.

Stoke have surprised many by managing to elevate themselves from near certainties for the drop last season into mid-table fighters this time around thanks in part to fierce determination and Rory Delap’s cannon-like throw-ins.

However after being humbled 4-0 by bottom feeders Portsmouth in the Carling Cup on Tuesday night, Stoke chartered a flight home bound for East Midlands airport, but after players complained of smelling smoke the plane was redirected to Gatwick and the players agony in defeat was prolonged as they made the rest of the journey north by coach.

Keeper Steve Simonsen said of the incident “It was pretty eventful to say the least. About 20 minutes into the journey there was a strange smell coming through the plane.”

“There was no smoke or flames, but the pilot followed the emergency procedure and took us to the nearest airport.”

“When you’re in that sort of situation you just want to get back down on the ground and, thankfully, that’s what we did.”

Hull’s on-loan striker Jozy Altidore also got himself in trouble this week after following in the cyber footsteps of Darren Bent.

After being dropped for Hulls’ abysmally dull game against Portsmouth on Saturday for turning up late, the American international foolishly tweeted “Apologize to all of you. I showed up late. Made a big mistake I’m very very sorry.”

Idiocy can sometimes be excused when there is no previous precedent for it, but when a multitude of sports stars have been given a good ticking off for posting inappropriate twitter comments it leaves you to believe that the stereotype of most footballers being as thick as two planks is true, and for the purposes of our entertainment, long may they continue to be.

Posted By Dan Mobbs - Wednesday October 28, 2009.
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