Marlon King’s Defence Revealed

Last week former Wigan striker Marlon King was sentenced to 18 months behind bars for assault and causing actual bodily harm, after he punched and groped 20 year old student Emily Carr square in the face.

“I’m a multimillionaire, love… you’re not even in my league” he exclaimed after his sexual advances on the girl were rejected and shortly before he delivered his vicious and unprovoked attack.

Surprisingly for a man who has 13 previous convictions, including one for violence against women, King showed a remarkable intelligence and foresight by exclaiming “you’re not even in my league,” as he knew female civilians are not allowed to play in the inter-prisons football league.

Out celebrating his wife’s pregnancy and scoring the winning goal only hours earlier, King sought a sexual ego boost, but instead was registered as a sex offender for seven years by Judge Nicholas Loraine-Smith and was ordered to pay £3,125 compensation to his victim and £1,800 in court fees.

Unsurprisingly Wigan eagerly sacked the striker after he was sentenced. In 18 appearances for the Latics, King could only manage the solitary goal and has been farmed out on loan to Middlesbrough and Hull over the past two seasons, so I doubt he’ll be missed.

What is surprising though is the severity of his sentence. Not because his crime was a menial one, as an unprovoked attack on a woman is an abhorrent crime, but considering his wealth and celebrity, I expected a lighter sentence to be handed down, as so often happens to celebs, such as Steven Gerrard, who get in a tangle with the law.

King’s previous convictions though undoubtedly affected the length of his stay at Her Majesty’s pleasure, but his defence of mistaken identity, seemingly borrowed from a Shaggy song has to be the most unimaginative and dumbest in criminal history.

Posted By Dan Mobbs - Tuesday November 3, 2009.
Tags: Marlon King, idiocy leading to a life of being cautious when picking up the soap in the shower