Irish FA Relocates to Shady Acres Lunatic Asylum

Over the years many clubs and countries have felt aggrieved by some of the decisions of the little man with the whistle.

The failure to spot Maradona’s hand-of-god in 1986 against England and the decision not to dismiss German keeper Harald Schumacher after he knocked Patrick Battiston unconscious in the 1982 World Cup are surely ranked amongst the worst and most costly refereeing mistakes in recent history.

Thierry Henry’s handball that sealed France’s play-off win against Republic of Ireland to reach next summers World Cup, has recently joined this list.

Understandably feelings of being cheated have run through the entire Irish camp so the Irish FA (FAI) have decided to throw a tantrum in an effort to secure a much sought summer holiday in South Africa.

Attempts at maturity had seemingly failed to sway guv’nor Sepp Blatter and his mates over at Fifa headquarters, so the FAI has decided to resort to playground tactics and throw a wobbler and simply demand a place at the World Cup, such is their feeling of contempt for that infamous game in Dublin.

Their request was met with a polite response from Blatter who said “I will bring it to the attention of the Executive Committee,” as he presumably tried to figure out the seriousness of the FAI’s request.

Admittedly I’m confused. Are the Irish serious? How do they think a World Cup with 33 teams will work? Are they seriously expecting their wish to be granted?

The whole idea of granting them a place at the World Cup because they feel aggrieved at a refereeing decision is barmy.

Their request is even more bonkers when you take into consideration that the Irish weren’t even winning over the course of the two legs as the score was 1-1 before Henry handled, so why should they be granted a place on the world stage?

Amazingly the request has been verified by an FAI statement.

“A lot was discussed at the meeting and at one stage the FAI asked if Ireland could be accommodated into the World Cup 2010,” read the statement.

“Other suggestions were also made to mitigate against further occurrences of such incidents, including the use of additional goal-line assistant referees for Fifa international matches, further use of video technology for matches at the highest level, stronger provisions to discourage players from engaging in such blatant breaches of the laws of the game and provisions to strengthen referee selection for such important matches.”

If common sense is thrown out the window at Fifa headquarters and Ireland are granted a place in South Africa, the plight of Costa Rica will also have to considered, as they also feel they were unfairly denied a place at the finals after Uruguay scored a goal from a suspiciously offside position.

If Fifa did follow the FAI to the asylum and turn the World Cup into a 33 team event, it could pave the way for a rash of retrospective overruling of results, so I’ve put in my request today for England to be crowned 1986 World Champions, after being denied by the little swearer’s left hand.

I’ve just received an e-mail back from Blatter in which he states, “I will bring it to the attention of the Executive Committee.” Fingers crossed.

Posted By Dan Mobbs - Monday November 30, 2009.
Tags: Ireland, France