The double act of Heskey and Houllier returns (like the unwelcome comedy of Hale & Pace in panto)

The reformation of a double act is rarely a good thing.

In a painful exercise of self promotion they relive and rehash their halcyon days, long after their appeal has faded from the public’s conscience, as they inexplicably decide that the social climate is now right for a return.

These reformations strike fear into the very heart of me, as nightmares of their first incarnation come flooding back, but it’s not the announcement that Hale & Pace are planning a nationwide tour that has me waking up in cold sweats, but the realisation that the frustrating Houllier and Heskey double act has returned to the Premier League.

Individually they’re fine. Apart from Heskey of course who isn’t.

Gerard Houllier has an impressive track record that has seen him guide Liverpool, Lyon and PSG to major honours and has experience of the game at the highest level.

Heskey has also won stuff and like Hale & Pace has an army of loyal and devoted fans that distressingly includes a number of prominent managers.

Previously I have written of my distaste for the contribution of the manatee-in-the-box and I have stumbled across a handful of his ardent supporters.

Seemingly his biggest saviour comes in comparison to John Carew, who is currently enjoying a particularly arid spell in front of goal that included a conversion from the spot against Newcastle and a hideous opening day performance that saw him earn a throw in from a free header in the box.

However, the fact remains that Heskey is considerably less potent and according the BBC stat machine he has only managed a goal every 6.55 games for Villa, which makes the reunion with his biggest fan all the more worrying.

Having previously been a peripheral player under Kevin MacDonald, it looked as if his days were numbered in the Midlands, but that was before his knight in shining armour and straight man to his comedy bumbling, Gerard Houllier arrived.

Thankfully Houllier seems to have located Heskey’s extremely dusty scoring boots as he surprisingly scored in Wednesday night’s Rumbelows Cup tie against Blackburn and he’s clearly quite a fan.

“I know what Emile can do. He showed a few things in training to indicate he was in good form.

“He was decisive. With Emile, it’s a matter of confidence. It’s the same with all strikers but probably more so with him. He knows I like him - I signed him for Liverpool” he said with misplaced pride.

As pleasing as it is to see the big sloth score, it also hints of his inclusion in the Villa front line becoming a regular feature.

I have nothing personal against Heskey and if he does decide to start scoring regularly and fulfils his positional obligation then I would be delighted.

However, ten years of viewing experience and countless ineffective impact substitute appearances from him have taught me otherwise.

Add to this his seven international goals in 62 appearances and his ability to fulfil the striking element of being a striker is called into question, a fact which is exaggerated by the fact that Paraguayan Jose Luis Chilavert managed eight goals in 74 appearances and he’s a keeper.

His reunion with his biggest supporter Houllier then seems to be a signal of a rejuvenation of his career and a return to very occasional scoring, although I would dearly love to be surprised, but how often do you enjoy a reunion tour?

Posted By Dan Mobbs - Thursday September 23, 2010.
Tags: Aston Villa, Emile Heskey