Nike Mercurial Vapor 2 boots: A review

Bright blue and almost electric in colour. That’s the first thing that strikes you about Nike’s football boots. They are so very very blue, like Bernard Manning, but not so fat and in a way that isn’t hideously off-putting.

These boots are rude, but intriguingly so. They pay no respect to the staid tradition of their black leather predecessors, to which they nonchalantly and happily to stick two fingers up at.

If they’re running towards you, they’re a bolt of blue with a trademark swish of white etched across the front and the back is a shock of near luminous orange that could grace any high-visi jacket.

They are distinctive, bold, bright and almost garish, but somehow they avoid falling into the latter category and instead manage to look proudly handsome, almost as if their difference exaggerates their beauty.

These boots are a fashion statement and also a declaration of a player’s intent. They carry with them a bravado and happy arrogance that is reflected in the wearers belief in his ability to tear it up on the pitch.

In these boots he’s Lionel Messi, Cristiano Ronaldo and Andres Iniesta all rolled into one and is in no way a boring run of the mill player in traditional kickers.

However, this is something the opposition will also keenly notice and they will surely be keen to test if the big-time-Charlie in his blue slippers has the ability to match the bravado of his boots.

They do though offer a surge of confidence and make you feel like a champion even before the game’s kicked off, but as my highly scientific below graph shows, this doesn’t necessarily translate into glory.

To only dub them as an ego boosting must-have fashion accessory would be doing them and their accompanying £150 price tag a disservice though, as they are much more than that.

They are also a damn good pair of boots. They are lighter than Keira Knightley, sleek and impossibly comfy considering the amount of material in the boot available to make your feet feel at home.

Gone is the leather of old boots and in its place is a wafer thin plastic, which according to the blurb on in the inside of the box is a tejin synthetic microfiber (whatever that is) and the base is a composite reinforced glass, giving the boot a distinct engineered edge and feel.

The outer material allows you to pervertedly caress every part of the ball with your foot, as if you’re playing barefoot, and gives you an unerring accuracy if you possess the accompanying ability.

Unfortunately for players of limited ability like myself this leaves you with you nowhere to hide when your grand ideas of beautifully flowing tiki-taka football don’t come off, leaving your excuse book one line thinner.

I opted for a bobble in the hard pitch and also a piece of flopsom that had crossed my path, whilst simultaneously blaming the extra attention I received from the opposition, who seemed keen to expose the sheep in wolves clothing.

However, my poor performance was tempered by the joy of wearing the boots, as they are without doubt the comfiest and sexiest pair of bright blue slippers I have ever worn.

Tags: fashion, football, footwear, Nike