Showing articles in category Newcastle United.
Week in headlines: Int it great for Spurfect Spurs and tache bang wallop at Newcastle
Restricted by a greedy desire for articles to reach as many people as possible and maximize search engine optimization, headlines are often dull affairs online and are with the odd exception they’re usually nothing more than a brief précis of the article.
Mike Ashley Displays A New Level Of Idiocy
Is Mike Ashley trying to alienate whatever support he has left in Newcastle? Is he systematically trying to destroy the spirit of the Geordie faithful? Is he devoid of any common sense?
This rant follows the announcement that Newcastle will for the immediate future be calling their beloved home the sportsdirect.com @ St James’ Park Stadium. What a snappy and charismatic name.
By now I thought that Ashley would have begun to understand the passion of the Newcastle fans and their absolute immersion in everything surrounding the club, but once again he proves his ability repeatedly anger them. Today’s announcement proves he hasn’t got a clue.
Missing: One Set Of Marbles
Newcastle are in dire straits as the start of the season approaches rapidly, but the news today that the club could finally be sold to local businessman Barry Moat is a huge ray of sunshine in this dark corner of the north-east, but the past twelve months appear to have taken their toll on current Chairman Mike Ashely’s health after I stumbled across the above poster on my way home from work.
Desperation has clearly set in at St James Park after former manager Joe Kinnear, who is currently recovering from a triple heart bypass operation, claims he was offered the job by Ashley in a frantic attempt to fill the vacant position. Currently in charge are the charismatic duo of Chris Hughton and Nigel Pearson, who unfortunately for them seem way out of their depth, but share this problem with a chairman who has jumped in the deep end, but forgotten his water wings.
Fans favourite Alan Shearer has seemingly been hanging on in desperation for the opportunity to lead his Magpies out of the Championship, but a lack of any leadership appears to have signalled that he is destined to return to being a BBC pundit again this season. Although confusingly, this can’t be confirmed due to the lack of leadership and general understanding of what’s going on at the club.
Newcastle Deploy A Distraction, And It’s Yellow
Much has been made this week of the attention and criticism Newcastle’s new away kit received from its fans and for the record, yes it’s disgusting, but it could yet prove to be a surprisingly shrewd move.
The usually passionate Geordie faithful failed to turn up in any numbers for the launch, with only six shirts being sold on the day of release, despite a 20% reduction in price. Scenes across the city at Sunderland’s Stadium of Light could not have been more different, as the Mackems patiently queued for the release of their new kit, probably though because it isn’t a putrid yellow colour that reminds me of egg mayonnaise that has been faded by the sun.
The release of the kit has been pounced upon by many as the nail in the coffin of a Newcastle team that are without an owner (Mike Ashley can’t and shouldn’t be considered,) a manager, or any sense of direction. However, through the mist of doom and gloom appears this yellow shirt in what I think is a piece of marketing genius, disguised in horrible clothing.
Owen A Debt Of Gratitude To A Brochure?
Politeness costs nothing, so first of all, thank you Michael Owen for the brochure, but I will not be taking the opportunity to sign a “ruthlessly determined person who is desperate to be back in the England squad.”
Having decided this week that the best way to advertise his ability to potential buyers is to release a glossy and verbosely worded brochure to every Tom, Dick and Harry, in an attempt to drum up business, after deciding not to renew his contract in the face of life in the Championship with Newcastle, Owen appears to have painted him self as a desperate hawker in need of a job.
Clearly not having taken notice of the how to fudge a sale 101 given by Mike Ashley over the past six months, the 29 year old has proceeded to release a shiny and printed ego rub, which has clumsily been leaked to the press, perhaps done in order to gain market saturation. This though begs the question, does a player of Owen’s ability really need to hawk himself door-to-door in order to get a buyer?
Newcastle: The Biggest Club In The Championship
A self proclaimed big club, Newcastle have often nodded ambitiously towards the path of success in their history, but have rarely walked down that road.
After Sundays limp and lifeless defeat at the hands of a Villa side who have been struggling to score this year condemned them to relegation from the Premier League, their hopes of maintaining the mantle of a big club has surely gone down with them, after a 16 year stay in the top flight.
Having not won a major trophy since they lifted the Fairs Cup in 1969, can the Toon Army really claim that a big club has been relegated?
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