Week in headlines: United’s Hernandez is a Mexy thing and a Little Pea super and Arsenal's Wenger gets a ski lift

Cue the Champions League music and rows upon rows of advertising breaks; add Andy Townsend endlessly waffling and you have the most important club competition in Europe.

The action from the second round of games was kind to all the British teams in the competition, as they all earned maximum points, much to the delight of the tabloids who joined in the celebrations with a pun party.

They didn’t always make complete sense, but the enthusiasm of the red tops was clear to see and wasn’t just refined to the Big Cup. Cue the music.

Here is the week that was in headlines.

The week started with reflections on the weekend’s action from the Premier league and in particular Arsenal and their keeper Manuel Almunia, who saw three goals strike the back of his net, as the home side were surprisingly beaten by West Brom. The excellent Guardian Fiver blog naturally had a well worded and amusing comment on Almunia’s performance and in particular his role in at least one of West Brom’s goals “most notably the one where his attempt to deflect the ball to safety via a spectacular on-field tribute to the moment in Grease where Danny Zuko drops to his knees while jiving at the Rydell High dance ended up backfiring a little” wrote a joyful Barney Ronay.

It wasn’t all doom and gloom for Arsenal this week though, as Tuesday night saw Arsene Wenger’s team earn a hard fought 3-1 victory over Partizan Belgrade in the Big Cup. Cue the music. Lukas Fabianski replaced the reportedly injured Almunia between the sticks and he saved a penalty on the night, leading The Sun to label him Happy Anski, which I’m sure he’ll prefer to his unwelcome nickname Lukas Flappy-Hand-Ski.

In media circles it’s well know that Wenger hates taking gondolas when he visits the Alps and much prefers to take a ski lift, but The Daily Star wasn’t referring to this preference in this headline, but instead it was meant to highlight how he and his side received a boost thanks to Lukas Fabian-ski’s contribution to the win in Belgrade. Clear as mud.

The man is clearly something special to have remained in charge of United for nearly 25 years and guided them to countless trophies in the process, but The Daily Star has revealed that there is more to him than meets the eye, as according to the rag he has two backs and both of them are against the wall. Despite the headline suggesting a genetic abnormality the article is in fact referring to the lack of options at his disposal in the centre-back position. Either way, it’s an odd headline.

Thankfully for United fans the centre-backs held strong against Valencia and they managed to pinch a victory thanks to a late Javier Hernadez strike and earn all three points in Tuesday night’s Big Cup game. Cue the music. The Sun were evidently delighted by the young Mexicans contribution as they fused his nationality and Hot Chocolates, You Sexy Thing into a peculiar, but affectionate headline.

Not to be outdone by their red top rival, The Daily Mirror were also keen to praise Hernandez and did so with a similarly strange headline. Known as Chicharito in Mexico, which translates as Little Pea, the Mirror decided to utilise this with a double entendre, but seemingly failed with the double part of the double meaning. Little Pea is super, but is he also a little pea soup-er? Read that one aloud and see what you make of it.

In their debut season in the Big Cup, cue the music, Tottenham have adapted to life in the premier club competition well and earned a 4-1 win over Twente on Wednesday night. The experience of Dutch international Rafael Van der Vaart was key to their success, despite the former Real Madrid man missing a penalty and later being dismissed. Spurs would be awarded two further penalties though and Gareth Bale would wrap up the win with a fourth and The Sun led the celebrations.

It wasn’t all smiles though at White Hart Lane as Harry Redknapp has had to give a public vote of confidence to misfiring speed-merchant Aaron Lennon, who has so far failed to recapture the form he displayed at the tail end of last season. The cigarette smoking winger has been lined up against the weakest left-back at the club in training according to Redknapp to help him improve his confidence and the manager believes his baron spell will end soon. His name was made for such a story and thankfully The Metro duly accepted this pun-based gift.

Having been usurped as one of the Big Cup big boys, cue the music, and dumped out of the other domestic cup by the mighty Northampton Town, these are testing times on Anfield for new manager Roy Hodgson. With Fernando Torres misfiring and inconsistent league form things look bleak for Liverpool leading The Sun to make this dreary observation.

There’s nothing funny about a cornered psychotic serial killer with a shotgun. Add Paul Gascoigne to the scenario armed with some sandwiches and a fishing line though as a gift for the killer and it adds a sense of farce to proceedings that Ealing Studios would have been proud of. Currently off the bottle, Gazza admitted to The Daily Star that he might have had one or two shandy’s that day.

Tags: Arsenal, Manchester United

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