ITV Sack Robbie Earle For The Benefit Of Those Allergic To Clichés

For the past few days I have begrudgingly sat and watched ITV’s coverage of the World Cup.

Every time I discover my evenings viewing will be tainted by ITV, my heart sinks a little knowing that I’ll have to watch Adrian Chiles try and bleed cliché ridden blood out of the collective stones of Robbie Earle, Andy Townsend and Mr Charisma – Edgar Davids.

Thankfully though the gods of decent football punditry have smiled on World Cup fans and decided that Earle should be sacked, after allowing ITV allocated match tickets intended for his friends and family into the hands of a third party.

This is a situation where there is no disguise, but only a blessing, as no longer will audiences be subject to the “it’s a game of two half’s Clive” blah blahs of a former member of the crazy gang.

It’s always been difficult to believe the views of Earle knowing that he was an average midfielder plying his trade with a team that were famed more for their loutish behaviour than for their aggressive style and long-ball tactics.

So hearing his analysis of Champions League and most recently World Cup football would bring my blood to near boiling point, knowing that he speaks with a critical authority, but without the experience of a world class footballer to truly believe his statements are accurate.

At least his cliché-loving stable-mate Andy Townsend has lucidity to his speech, to mask the pitfalls of his playing career.

However and perhaps in a case of serious injustice akin to Bloody Sunday, Earle wasn’t dismissed for these crimes against the public’s ears, but was instead for allowing 36 women who were wearing orange mini-dresses into the Denmark v Holland match as part of a suspected guerrilla marketing campaign.

“Following claims by FIFA that official 2010 World Cup tickets may have been used for ambush marketing, ITV has reviewed its entire ticket allocation for the tournament,” the TV network said in a statement.

“Immediate investigations indicated that a block of ITV tickets would appear to have been used for unauthorised purposes during the Holland v Denmark match.

“Further enquiries have revealed that a substantial number of tickets allocated to Robbie Earle for family and friends have been passed to a third party in breach of FIFA rules.

“As a result, Robbie Earle’s contract with ITV has been terminated with immediate effect.”

Hopefully the band of scantily clad guerrilla marketers have not given up on their mission to advertise products as unofficial sponsors of the tournament whilst also eradicating the pundits on ITV for the greater good.

For any of those guerrilla marketers reading this, Andy Townsend’s number is 07855269824.

Tags: Robbie Earle, World Cup 2010